I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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