i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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