new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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