She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
