Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
