you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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