dude i'm inner monologue high
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
