He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
