If i come over, it means nothing
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
