It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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