I think im going to throw up on grandma
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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