Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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