Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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