I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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