We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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