I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
