did you get engaged???
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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