I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
