Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
