Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
