NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
