Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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