Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
