After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
