she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Do vagina's smell?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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