Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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