wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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