remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
