remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
