I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
