Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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