Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
where are my eyebrows?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
