Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
