Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
