so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
