It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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