She is in my trunk
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
