Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
