Midget sex pt 2 tonight
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
