Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
