I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
