Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You are the jesus of drinking
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
