Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
