I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
