I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
