he wants to bone in the snuggie
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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