Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
