you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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