Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
