You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
