Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
