i'm lost and i look like a hooker
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
