i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
