we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Randomize
