Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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